Our Long But Perfect Birth Story, the Journey Before, During and After
Corey and I have been together for over 6 years and of those years he was deployed for 2 of them. So before the last deployment in February 2011, we talked about getting pregnant before he left. So, I got off birth control in November 2010 and thought it would be no time in getting pregnant, as my mom said if we even saw a wiener we would get pregnant (and I believed her lol). Well, low and behold it didn’t happen and in August of 2011 my cycle was out of wack which was definitely out of the ordinary for me.
Corey was due to come home on leave in October and I wanted to go to the Dr. to get things checked out to make sure my girly parts were working in case I was ovulating when he came home. I honestly didn’t think anything of the appointment and expected everything to be good. Well, my Dr. went to check it all out and nonchalantly said “Oh, you have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). Unless you get on medicine or it works itself out you can’t get pregnant”. She also told me that birth control helps it, which defeats the purpose. My heart dropped. I didn’t have a clue what all of that meant. She started talking about medicine and all kinds of stuff and I was not even soaking it in. So she wrote me a prescription for Clomid and something else to help my cycle regulate and gave me a temp chart and all kinds of crap that was over my head. I later learn on my own that the birth control I was on has estrogen, as do many, and that prevented me from producing the hormones on my own, in turn causing my body to go out of wack when I got off bc. In the meantime, I started doing everything I could naturally to get healthy so my body will regulate. I started researching like crazy about natural ways to enhance fertility. I started eating healthier, I worked out 5 days a week, lost about 20+lbs and that alone regulated my periods. So when I talked to Corey we decided to wait until he came home for good to worry about anything. So he came home for good the end of March 2012 and baby makin was on our mind.
I knew that we had a lot of catching up to do and reintegration is always tough for couples, so we decided we wanted to go on vacation and get reintegrated before we brought a baby in the mix, or even worried about it. I didn’t take the Clomid and was going to wait until after our vacation in May 2012 to take it. We enjoyed our summer with friends, the lake and went to Mexico with some friends and had an eventful summer.
Thunder Up
The weekend God decided we were to be parents
Yellow Ribbon Weekend June 2012
I figured the medicine wouldn’t take on the first few months and in order to take Clomid, you have to take it on day 1 of your cycle. I was going to take it in June and just was waiting to start in order to get the party started. 4 days go by past my “projected start date” and I was bummed because my cycle had worked itself out and I thought everything was going downhill. But, I remembered I had a pregnancy test and decided to pee on it as I had many more before, only expecting to get the same ol’ results and ready to kick myself for wasting money on negative pregnancy tests. I do the deed and glance at it and BAMMMMM the line I have always longed for was making its debute for the first time EVER! I immediately hyperventilated. I was soooooo excited. I was 4 weeks 5 days. I immediately called Corey and couldn’t say anything but ugh ugh ugh so I just let him go and said I would send him a text and I sent the test. He was soooo excited and said...take another one. I immediately started beating myself up for having two cups of coffee and started going back in my head anytime I took medicine, drank beer or anything that could harm my babes. But that is where the story begins.
Even though I was sick from week 6 until a little past the 1st trimester, I LOVVVEEEDDD being pregnant. I knew what it meant to be faced with the potential of not having the opportunity and I made a vow to never complain no matter how bad it was because so many people would give their right arm (including me at one time) able to wake up every morning throwing up, being exhausted, and sick all day long. Come second trimester, it was like I had an IV of gogo juice. Third trimester, people told me it would go back to being tired and I still was feeling wonderful. I loved being pregnant.
As most of you know, I research everything...not your typical Google search fanatic, but journals, trusted experts, local birth educators, other "crunchy" mamas. Around 7 months, I went for my check up and wanted to go over my birth plan with my Dr. (whom my husband made me remove her name from this lol) and discuss how I wanted a natural birth and she told me to reconsider and think about having an epidural and to throw my birth plan out the window, that her goal is to deliver the baby the easist way possible blah blah blah (I quit listening because it’s not about her flippin’ goal, I was ticked)… And before I could even go there with her, oh lookie there, our time is up (10 min max is all I ever spent with her). I always felt rushed and felt limited as to my time with her, not to mention she told me I could have up to 5 cokes per day and that who cares if I gain weight, "YOU'RE PREGNANT, ENJOY IT". I did just that (other than the cokes) and I didn't care to watch how much I ate. I enjoyed it alright and paid for it later and still today. After not feeling right about my Dr., I asked a lot of my facebook friends about their experience with their midwife and their natural birth experience.
I contacted a good friend of mine who he and his wife just had a baby and he told me to contact Chris Cleary at Birth Matters. I was scared to do so because I felt like I was going to burden her with my issues and I was told by many that it was too late in the game to change Dr.’s. Corey called me that morning to tell me that our insurance does cover certified nurses midwives (I was so proud he took such initiative without me telling him lol) I took the plunge and called and Chris gave me such a peace and she was so warm and talked to me as long as I needed and she supported me in wanting to cancel my appointment and gave me the courage to call Leanna Harkess at Ou. She was the biggest reason I took that step and she assured me that if I, in fact, wanted a natural birth and a wonderful experience that Ou and Leanna would be a great choice. I had been quizzing people I knew had natural births and Leanna was by far said to be one of the best but I also heard all of the midwives at OU are awesome (and later I will personally find out each and every one are in fact great). I heard it was hard to get into Leanna as she was a hot commodity in the Midwife world. I called and I got in. We were so excited.
At our first appointment we got in an hour late and I was so happy about that. Crazy, but I was. Corey didn’t understand but I explained that it shows she doesn’t rush and she spends as much time as a mommy needs, unlike my other Dr. So once we got in there, it was like an angel entered the room. Tears welled up in my eyes because she was exactly what I expected when I envisioned the person assisting me in bringing my son into the world. She was soft spoken and very in tuned to me and everything that came out of my mouth. She was a breath of fresh air to say the least. She spent over an hour with us even though she was so far behind. We mattered, our birth mattered, finally.
So around 37 weeks my blood work was ok but levels were elevating and she felt it was only going to get worse and asked me what I thought about induction around 39 weeks if it doesn't get better. She offered me induction because if I went to 40-41 weeks she felt I would become preeclamptic, I would more than likely have to deliver via C-section and I absolutely wanted to prevent that by any means possible. She knew I wanted a natural birth and she assured me that a natural birth is possible (no pain medicine) even though pitocin is being used. I was skeptical because all I had ever heard about Pitocin (PIT) is that the contractions are AWFUL and stronger and harder than regular contractions, but I was determined to fight like heck to get through it. I totally trusted her judgment 110% as she is sooooooo mommy and baby centered and will fight tooth and nail to give a mommy the birth she longs for as long as she and baby are safe (YOU WILL SEE THIS PLAYED OUT IN MY CASE LOL).
Even though I was against induction and most interventions, I am a true testament to the saying “things can change and not always go as planned”. I allowed Leanna to strip my membranes and stretch my cervix to try to get things going on their own. I lost my mucous plug around 38 weeks and I thought it was going to happen on it's own. I was eating fresh pinapple, doin what grown folks do, walking etc. I agreed to get induced at 9:30PM on Saturday, Feb 16 via Pitocin. Here is where the "fun" begins.
Induction Night Saturday: So on Saturday, daddy is nesting like no other. We were given strict instructions to rest and he said “It’s like when we were in Afghanistan and before a big mission, they would tell us to rest and we just couldn’t.” Nice comparison I guess. I was really calm and rested trying to focus and getting music ready, doing my afirmations etc. and around 8:30 PM we headed to the hospital. We told our Doula that we would call her when things heated up. We were so excited, we thought within 24 hours we would have our little boy here and were really encouraged when the nurse “B” came in and said “LETS HAVE A BABY!” She was a spunky brown haired punky bruester look alike and we hit it off immediately. She took no time hooking me up to fluids, the external monitors, pitocin…. I was so disappointed because for a natural birth at OU, they usually don’t make you hook up to anything other than getting a HepLock and I was sooo looking forward to that so I could move about freely during labor without a big ol rack draggin, but hey, things change, right? Needless to say, I didn’t get a lick of sleep. I just sat up looking at the monitor of our baby and I couldn’t get comfortable in that horrible bed. B would come in and we would talk about Kardashian drama and all kinds of stuff.
I wake up (or whatever it was) and don’t feel much different regarding the PIT and contractions for quite a few hours. Trying to go to the bathroom, lugging that fluid rack around sucked. So I put on makeup, and got ready for the possible big day to come. Contractions were manageable and I was tired but excited. The new day nurse was kinda a dud and I missed our “B” nurse.
DAY 1 Sunday: I ate breakfast (YES YOU CAN EAT WHILE LABORING) and was curious to see how much I progressed. I was a "good" 2 in the last appointment. Midwife patients usually don’t get checked very often but at about 1pm I asked the dud nurse(We will call her nurse #2, I wish I knew her name) if she could check and see if I dialated. She was so rough I almost punched her in the face. She checked me as if I was an epidural patient. I understand it was hard to reach my cervix but dang stubby fingers Magee. I really felt like it took me back 10 steps and made me regress, which prevented me from letting my body do what it needed to. My midwife was not actually supposed to be working this day but she had 5 patients who labored overnight. She showed up around 7pm and when she walked in I burst into tears and told her how rough that hag was and how I don’t want to be checked by anyone else. She WAS NOT HAPPY. She agreed and assured me that won’t happen again. She checked me and I was a 3 after 21 hours on Pitocin, which I made it to 32 units where 36 was the highest (I was proud but not after it got me nowhere). That was sooo discouraging and she decided to let me get some sleep and they took me off PIT and the monitors and start back at 5 am in the morning on PIT. I sent my Doula home to get some rest and told her we would call her when things progress and get tough pain wise. That was the best sleep of my life and I was optimistic we were gonna have a baby come Monday! Ha ha on that one.
DAY 2 Monday: Nurse #3 (I think her name was Stormy or Sunny or something lol) came in and started me on PIT at 5am. I told her of the butt hole nurse who hurt me and I told her I didn't want to be checked. She said that was perfectly fine. Same ol’ thang different day. Corey and I got up around 8 and ate breakfast, took a shower, put on makeup and decided we were going to walk the halls and walk this baby out. So we had our morning walk and talk, swayed back and forth and came back and laid in bed together to watch some TV. A new midwife was on call, Laura, and she came in to introduce herself and was super nice. My poor midwife had been in labor and delivery for over 24 hours and delivered 5 babies the day before and went home to get some sleep. Laura said she would call to see how I was progressing. As the day goes on, the contractions start getting a little more uncomfortable and I am sure I am dialated and progressing as I should be. Laura came in and I asked that she check me and she said I was a good 4. I was soooo happy.
Even though I didn't want the entire family there until I knew I was going to have this baby, around 5PM my family came, my sister, Chad, Berkley, Mom and Dad. Dad and Corey went and brought me dinner after searching the whole city for soup and instead thought fried chicken from Walmart would work. They went to McNellies looking for soup hahaha. Ewww. I was having tough contractions and said “Dad, I’m starting to hurt, you may not want to be in here”. And as he was setting up his DVD player, he said “Oh, you’re not botherin’ me”. That was a hint I wanted to be alone and free from the fried chicken grease. He cracks me up. We did some more walking, birth ball and lunging and when Leanna came in that evening, she said “hunny, I’d say you’re still a 3”. I was so upset. I cried and said I just want my baby here. Leanna hugged me and told me I'm a fighter and to be strong. It was very emotional and discouraging. Now I know why midwife patients don’t usually get checked very often. It plays a mind game. So again, off the Pit, send Doula home, get some sleep. People wonder why they "LET" me stay so long. First off, they said my insurance wouldn't cover it since it was an induction and second, it was medically necessary.
Day 3, Tuesday: 5am PIT, breakfast, nap, makeup, hair…we’re havin a baby today!!!!!!! At this point we were desperate. I was soooo ready and Corey asked the nurse if we could get Propadil/prosteglandin gel (spelling/helps ripen and dialate the cervix) and the nurse said the Physician said she didn’t think it would make a difference. Corey said “You tell her we want whatever will help, she doesn’t know unless we try”. When she left, we held each other and cried. It was a moment. Leanna had clinics this day and came at about 6am before to check on me. She said we’re gonna make something happen today! She is always so positive although I was still a 3. They agreed to the Propadil gel and at this point they were diligently upping my Pit 2 units every 30 minutes.
Since this labor was so dang crazy, I told my Doula I would call her when my contractions kicked in and I needed her. I didn’t want her to have to be all uncomfortable unless a baby was coming or I was hurting. This day my mom came and hung out, Janice my doula was there, and of course Corey. Janice was rubbing my swollen feet with oil and taking turns with mom. My feet looked like loaves of bread they were sooooo fat from all of the fluids.Mom was playing music and name that tune with Janice. They became best of buddies. Corey was rubbing my feet, my back, playing with my hair and doing everything to keep me motivated and comfortable. I remember having rough contractions and singing Beatles songs. Contractions were closer and definitely stronger much earlier. Leanna came in on her lunch break around 11 and I was dialated to a 4. I wanted to labor a bit in the bath but my dang water wouldn’t get warm enough. I just kept doing what I had been doing. Doing lunges, walking the halls and using the birth ball. Nursing students were told we were "super cool couple" and to visit us and write their assessment on us. So, as the day goes on and I am just waiting to hear the door, by my room that the staff comes in and out of, to open and me hear Leanna.
All day I knew Leanna was going to come visit me and check on me. Dusty was the Midwife on call for the night shift and she was wonderful in Leannas absence. Well around 7 pm it happened. Sit down in the rocking chair, hear the door open that was the entrance for staff, hear her tiny heels clicking down the hall and about 30 seconds later my water broke. POP!!! "OMG MY WATER BROKE". It wasn't a trickle or a tiny pop, it felt like a basketball popped inside of me. I felt immediate pressure. As I spread my legs and look down between my legs in front of the male nursing student whose eyes were sooo bugged out because of my outburst, or it could be because of my gyna,,,, who knows. Ha! The pain was A LOT WORSE than what I had experienced prior so I immediately went into try to focus mode. My mom came over and draped a towel over my crotch to hide it from the male nurse and I said “I DON’T CARE IF HE SEE’S MY GYNA… GET UR IPHONE AND SHOW UR NURING BUDDIES, MY WATER JUST BROKE”! Leanna came in and I was freaking out because I had went into lackadaisical mode because I had been so comfortable this freaked me out because it was finally happening. I said “I’m gonna poop, I feel pressure in my butt”! She calmed me and said “you’re not gonna poop, lets sit on the toilet”…. She rubbed my head and held my hand and calmed me as I hung onto Corey's waist. Breathing was definitely important at this point. I was using the deep moans and focusing on the picture on the wall of the flower, imagining myself as such, hoping it would help my baby come earth side.
Hours passed, not sure how many but quite a few past and after my nerves calmed and everything I knew to do kicked in, I began to enter into very active and hard core labor. Leanna checked me and I was a "good" 6 almost 7. As I entered into transition, I was unsure how much more I could take. I was completely exhausted and delirious. I really didn't think I would have the energy to push my baby out. I could barely keep my eyes open. I cried and looked at my doula, midwife and Corey and said "I am sooo tired I can barely keep my eyes open, can I get medicine" and every single one of them said YES with a sigh of relief for me (and them I am sure). I have been doing this for over 3 days and they knew I wanted the strength to push my baby out. I cried and said I felt like a failure and they all told me that most wouldn't have done what I have done so long on PIT in so much pain for days. My uterus was tired too. I still felt defeat. It took a while for me to get over that. I was still on PIT and contractions were 100X's as intense than before, so I called for an epidural. I was completely exhausted. I was on the verge of being dillusional because of how tired I was. After all of the shaking and throwing up (btw my midwife held my barf bag and rubbed my hair during the epidural) I finally laid down and got the best few hours of sleep in my life.
Day 4 Birth Day: Leanna wasn't on call as she just came to check on me after she worked the clinic but she said she will come to my delivery no matter what and she went to get some sleep and Dusty, the on call Midwife, assisted me while I rested. Around 4am I was a 9 and they went ahead and called Leanna. Around 5am, the Dusty rolled me over and checked me and I was a 10 and was continuously watching the monitors. I was having consistent contractions and I let them do their thing as I was going to sleep as long as I could. Corey tried to sleep but kept checking on me and rolling over while the nurses came in and asking "Is everything ok?" and she said "It's time to have a baby". I never seen him hop up so quick. He was ready to go. We had sent my Doula into the lobby with my mom to get sleep and he went to get her and tell her it's go time.
About to get things goin.
I sure do love this man.
She kept asking if I felt the urge to push and I started around 5:30. There were no bright lights in my face, there was no clanking of utensils, she wasn't dressed like she's afraid of a chemical spill, there was just a peace about the room. She was watching the monitors and she would tell me I can take a break between contractions and I pushed with every other one. Taking a short little nap in between pushing haha. I was always under the impression you had to push with every one, as soon as you're a 10, and if you didn't get the baby out they would stick some foriegn object inside to get the baby out. Thank you Chris at Birth Matters for teaching me otherwise :)
As I continued to push, she would stretch me and massage me once he was crowning to make sure I didn't tear. I attribute me not tearing by letting my body slowly prepare to push and not be rushed to do so. They asked if I wanted a mirror and I declined because I wasn't sure if that would freak me out but looking back in retrospect I wish I would have had one. I remember Corey leaning over and kissing me and telling me "you're doing a good job baby", and rubbing my hair and kissing my face. Leanna called for "Dad" to come downtown and take a look and help her get ready to catch. I asked if he can see the head and his eyes lit up and said "Baby, he has sooo much hair" and having him down there the last few pushes really motivated me because he went into excitement mode, telling me "You're doing awesome, you can do it, here he comes". Leanna tells "Dad" to get ready and on the last push tells me to get ready to grab my baby and I reach down feeling Corey's hands as we, together, welcome our beautiful baby boy to this world at 6:05. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. I put him immediately on my chest and he was to stay there for as long as we wanted. They just suctioned him out and wiped his eyes and nothing else. They did all his wellness tests on my chest as I asked they not take him away unless it was an emergency. We delayed cord clamping to ensure he got all of his blood stored away in the cord and it was a fast 2 minutes until it quit pulsating. We laid him on my chest to nurse as soon as he wanted. My whole pregnancy I prayed for no compressed cord, no cord wrapping around the neck (even though it is highly common and ok), no meconium among other things. He had none of these and a really long cord according to Leanna.
I was immediately in love and so overwhelmed with love for him and for my husband. I outwardly thanked God for him saying "Thank you Jesus for this little boy". As tears stream down Corey and my face we were now a family of 3. It was the most beautiful moment of our lives.
First moments earth side, 7lbs, 12oz. 20 in. long.
This journey was not only the most emotional, hard, exciting, perfect time in my life but it was life changing. I was a mom now. Everything changes. The bond Corey and I had was one that is rare. I never thought we could ever be closer as a couple than we were prior to this journey. In the 4 days of waiting on our little boy to arrive, our bond grew beyond belief. Our walks and talks and the comfort I felt in my husband arms was the most beautiful thing I had experienced up until the birth of our son. I just wanted him, his hands, his arms, his comfort. This was a time I felt as ONE. I am thankful that we are as strong and close as we are and our son is blessed to grow up seeing that. He was my everything during every step of the way. I was meant to be a mother. I am so thankful to God for giving us this precious gift we call our sweet boy Shipley. (Post Partum Story coming soon)
Daddy is holding Shipley for the first time
Janice, my doula, admiring our little stubborn boy.
I don't think we put clothes on him in the hospital. Tons of skin to skin with mama and dada.
Perfection
Cuddles at home.
We are blessed beyond measure.
Below are links to some videos we took before going to the hospital and while in the hospital.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10152625538095515&l=224149988097778827
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10152625818795515&l=2819541876661557651
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10152625791405515&l=9192453045114610163
